Without Claire: The Hastings Brothers Series Read online

  Physically, everything was amazing. We haven’t done more than a hand job, him fingering me, and heavy grinding. I knew we were going slow because he didn’t want to rush me, but I was ready for the next step. I knew all that I had to do was to stop being a coward and make the first move.

  I learned a lot about him in the past few weeks. I know that he owns a gym with Derek, and that’s why he has such a hot body. You won’t hear me complaining. I have spent a lot of time touching those abs. One of the things that I loved was that he just laid back and let me explore. He never tried to push me for anything more than what we were doing, so when I told him that I wanted to touch his muscles, he let me spend a good portion of the night doing so.

  The guys haven’t played another prank on us, but the girls told me that they usually take their time. They think it’s because they take longer to think of what to do, but I’m not so sure considering that there are eight of them, and they are all built and tall. I think it’s because it’s harder for all of them to sneak around without making any noise.

  Thomas told me last night during our weekly dinner that he was quitting, but if I ever needed him that I knew where he lived. He said he knew that I was happy and in good hands now, so he didn’t worry about me anymore. He said that the sadness that used to be there all the time is now gone.

  I know that they are all wondering why I lived the way I did, but I have been scared to tell them. Over the past few weeks, they all told me about their lives including what had happened to Paige not long before I came along. I know what her parents did to her and her brothers which makes me mad because now I know what a sweet person she is. I often hear the guys call her “sweet Paige”. I know that Sam and his brothers lost his parents; but from what they tell me, they were good people. They did, after all, raise these guys who are nothing but the sweetest men I have ever met. They can be assholes to their one-night-stands (from what I have seen when we have gone out for drinks), but to the girls and I, they are nice and sweet.

  This evening, we are all sitting around waiting for pizza to arrive. Everyone is just chatting amongst themselves. Once the pizza gets here and we all have our plates, I decide to quit being a coward and tell everyone my history. I know that I will only have the energy to say it once, so I made sure to wait until everyone was here.

  I clear my throat, stand up, and walk over to stand in front of the T.V. Everyone is looking at me curiously. I take a deep breath.

  “I know you guys have been wondering for a while what has happened in my past, so I am just going to tell you. I only have enough courage in me to say it once, so I want everyone to listen.” When I look at everyone, they put their plates on the coffee table, and give me their full attention.

  “Okay. So, six years ago on my birthday, I was meeting my family for dinner. It’s something we had always done since I didn’t like to party or anything. I didn’t live at home at the time, but my sister was three years younger than me and still lived at home. I drove to the restaurant, and waited for them. I waited for over two hours. When it became clear they weren’t coming, I was so angry. I tried calling them over and over again. There was no answer. I was about to get into my car when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but I answered it anyway. It was the hospital. They said that my mother was there, and they needed me to come since I was her next of kin. It didn’t even register what the nurse had said at the time. I just drove to the hospital feeling numb. Once I got there, I told them who I was, and two police officers showed up. They had told me that my dad and sister had died on impact. They were hit by a drunk driver on their way to the restaurant. I ended up collapsing on the ground. Someone picked me up and sat me in one of the waiting room chairs. My mother had died later that night. She had internal bleeding, and they couldn’t stop it.”

  I take a shaky breath. At this point I am not looking at anyone as I am lost in my own memories. “I spent the next couple days numb while I planned my mom’s funeral. A lot of people came. Friends had stayed by my side, but once it was over, I couldn’t take it anymore- the sad smiles, the sympathetic looks. I just packed up my stuff, and left. I used the inheritance I had gotten, and hired people to clean out the house and stick my family’s personal belongings in storage. I moved into the apartment that I live in now, and only left my house to get groceries. I ended up being too scared to live life. I didn’t want to get close to anyone because I was afraid to end up losing them like I lost my whole family. I shut everyone out. I threw away my phone so that no one could contact me. I left a note for my aunts and uncles that I was fine, but that I needed to get away. I didn’t know if I was ever going to come back. That’s it. That’s the whole story. That is why I only existed until I met you guys. I have seen how you all interacted with each other, and I realized how much I really missed it. I missed having friends and being close to anyone. I didn’t even realize how lonely I was until I stepped foot into this house. That’s it. So, now you guys know why I am the way I am.”

  I chance a look at all of them, and they all have tears running down their cheeks, even the guys who you would think would be afraid to tear up in front of each other. It’s not until Sam comes up to me and brushes his hands on my cheeks that I notice they had been soaked with my tears. He doesn’t say anything, but just pulls me into his chest. I take a shaky breath, and I feel a million times better like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I trust these people with my life and I think of them as my family now. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. How could so many people become so important to me in such a short amount of time?

  Once I pull out of Sam’s hug, everyone takes a turn and gives me a hug. They are telling me things are going to be okay now, that I will always have them, and that they are proud of me for telling them.

  After that, everyone starts eating and we change the subject. I know that they were giving me the time to adjust, and tell them in my own way. I think this may be the start of the grieving process that I was so scared to begin. It was time to accept what happened, and move on. I already am breathing a little easier knowing that I told them.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sam

  I am sitting next to Claire, and I have an ache in my chest for her. I don’t think she even noticed that she was crying at the end. I am so proud of her for telling us why she had been alone for so long. I know that she carries a lot of guilt over what happened. I didn’t think anyone expected her to tell us that she lost her whole family on her birthday. She has probably not wanted to celebrate it for all these years. Part of me is grateful that she has chosen my family to open up to so that she can start living again.

  She spends a lot of nights at my house. While I have been to her place a couple of times, she tells me that she likes the busyness of my place, so we always end up there. I want to tell her to stay, and to move her ass in, but I don’t want to scare her away. I sleep like shit the nights that she’s not in my arms. I want to take things farther with her, but I told her that I would go at her pace, so I am waiting for her to make the move.

  After she tells my family everything, everyone is quiet and lost in their own thoughts. Then the moment breaks when I hear “Barbie Girl” being blasted from someone’s phone. All eyes turn to Liam when we realize that it’s his phone.

  He pulls his phone out of his pocket and answers. “Hello?... Who is this?... Thomas?... No, I didn’t sneak into your room last night while you were sleeping… I swear it wasn’t me!... I have a twin… Oh he was… What’s so funny?... Hello?”

  He hangs up his phone with a look of confusion on his face, and then he presses a bunch of buttons on his phone. He looks up clearly angry. It’s not until he glares at Claire that I notice her face is buried in my neck, and she’s silently laughing. Her shoulders are shaking, and if I couldn’t hear quiet chuckles then I would be worried right now.

  “How did you get in my phone?” Liam asks in disbelief.

  Claire looks up at him with a huge smile on her face
seeing everyone’s curious gazes because of what just happened.

  “Oh god, Thomas has perfect timing!” She starts laughing hard, to the point where she’s clutching her stomach.

  “What is going on?” Paige asks in confusion.

  “Well, it seems that Thomas wanted to know if I was breathing heavy in his ear last night. Then, when I told him that it wasn’t me, he said that I had a twin,” he looks at Cole and smirks,” and that it couldn’t have been Cole, because he was spooning him at the time.” Before he gets to say any more, everyone bursts out in laughter.

  “Seriously, how did you get in my phone? I always have it,” Liam says looking at Claire.

  She clears her throat. “Not when you are in the shower,” she says with laughter in her eyes. “Great voice, by the way.”

  I growl at her. “You went into the bathroom when he was showering?”

  She chuckles, and shakes her head. “Then how did you get it? It would have been in there with him,” I state.

  Claire glances at Noah. It’s so fast that you barely see it, but I was looking at her the whole time, and I know that Liam saw it too.

  “God, you’re a shitty liar, you know that!” Noah throws his hands in the air.

  “What the hell? Traitor! It’s supposed to be girls versus guys!” Cole yells at Noah at the same time Courtney yells at Claire.

  “What the fuck? Why did you go rogue?” Tara says.

  “It wasn’t part of the war. I owed Noah a favour, and he cashed in, so I broke into Liam’s phone. Apparently, Liam cockblocked him last night by yelling that Noah had crabs in the bar when he was drunk,” Claire says. We all look at Liam who looks confused.

  “I really don’t remember last night,” he mutters.

  “Well, it’s like this, asshole. We were having drinks, and talking to a couple of chicks. You were beyond drunk and said, and I quote, ‘don’t let having crabs get you down, you will always be a part of the family,” Noah says glaring at Liam while everyone bursts out with laughter.

  Liam smirks at what he did to Noah. I whisper to Claire. “Why did you owe him a favour?”

  “Because I am the one who said he had crabs in the first place, so I planted that seed in Liam’s tiny little head,” she whispers back.

  “And how did you know how to hack into his phone?” I ask.

  She looks at me innocently and shrugs. “He was sitting beside me one day, and didn’t bother to hide his passcode when he signed into his phone.”

  “That’s because I never thought our shy little Claire would ever hack into my phone!” Liam throws his hands up in the air.

  “Wait, how many people’s passcodes have you seen…” Luke asks narrowing his eyes.

  Claire just shrugs. Everyone gets out their phone to check if she messed with it. I don’t even bother to check mine. I am so proud of my girl. She has come out of her shell a lot since we first met her a month ago. Now she jokes with everyone without feeling guilty after. She talks more. She’s still quiet in some ways, but if we get her talking about something she’s passionate about, it’s hard to really stop her from talking. She’s become a part of the group. I know that everyone loves having her around.

  I hear a bunch of curses from the guys. Oddly enough, no curses are coming from the girls, breaking me out of my thoughts.

  “Seriously, are you a ninja? How did you get our phones without any of us seeing?” They all look at Claire. I look at the girls, and their mischievous smiles convey that they have been in on this the entire time.

  It turns out that all the guys’ phones have a screen shot of a different one of us shirtless. I bet these are the pictures that Paige and Tara took when they first met us. How they did it with us ever seeing, I couldn’t tell you. Our names in our phone have been changed to “Pookey,” “Sweetie Pie,” “Cutie,” and so on.

  They had to have done it just before dinner. Usually, we don’t answer our phones during dinner. The only time that we do is if it’s another one of us, or an emergency because booty calls can wait the hour that we are eating together. We double them in numbers, and they still found a way to mess with our phones.

  “So, I’m curious,” Cole says after everyone tries to fix their phone screens deciding that they will figure out who is who later. I dig out my phone, and I’m not surprised to find a photo of Trevor mowing the lawn on it. I automatically change it while laughing. “How did you get Thomas to call Liam, and be in on this with you girls?” I will have to be honest, I was wondering the same thing.

  Claire clears her throat. “Well, we girls promised to have dinner with him tomorrow night in exchange for a prank phone call,” she says with a smile. The other girls are smiling widely.

  “Man, that dude is smooth! He got four beautiful girls to have dinner with him on a Friday night, and all he had to do was make a two-minute phone call?! Damn, I want to be him when I grow up!” Cole says looking actually proud of Thomas. Honestly, so am I.

  After we all eat, I bring Claire up to my room. I wish I could move her shit in here. I hate seeing that fucking bag with her clothes in it.

  As usual, she grabs one of my t-shirts, and heads to the washroom to change. I can’t wait for the day that she doesn’t have to do that shit around me. The moment that I get to see her naked, you can bet your ass that I will make sure that she won’t be shy around me.

  I strip down to my boxers, and wait for her to finish up so that I can wash up before we head to bed. We already have this nightly routine. I fucking love the way her eyes eat me up every time she comes out and sees me in nothing but my boxers.

  Tonight, she comes out looking sexy as fuck in my shirt, and when she sees me, she licks her lips. She actually fucking licks her lips. She hasn’t ever had that reaction before, and I’m not sure that she knows that she did it, but I just wink at her while I walk to the bathroom. I brush past her, and I can’t help but give her a little smack on the ass. I fucking love that ass. I cannot wait until I can see it when I’m taking her from behind.

  I brush my teeth, and head back to bed. She’s lying there with a shy smile on her lips, and a light blush on her cheeks.

  “Fuck, baby. After four weeks, you’d think that you wouldn’t be shy to be sleeping in my bed,” I tell her as I lay down beside her resting my hand on my elbow looking down at her.

  “Still, sometimes it doesn’t seem real that I am even in your bed,” she tells me with such honesty in her face. If only she could see herself in my eyes, she would know that she was way too good for me.

  I lean down and kiss her. I love the way she automatically melts into the kisses now. Before, she would always stiffen, and after a couple seconds, she would end up melting. Now, she seems more confident and natural with me, and automatically gives into the kiss.

  Deepening the kiss, I move so that she’s completely under me. I move my lips to her ear, and then to her neck slowly bringing my hand down to the hem of the shirt she is wearing. I haven’t seen her without a shirt on, and I want to so bad. I know that the moment she stiffens I will stop, but I am fucking hoping that she won’t stop me.

  I have the shirt she is wearing pushed up to just under her breasts. I pull back, and look into her eyes grabbing the hem of the shirt. “Can I see you, baby?”

  When she nods her head, I don’t hesitate. I kneel back and pull the shirt over her head. Fuck. She isn’t wearing a bra. Now she’s laying before me in nothing but light pink lacy panties. The color is so innocent, and it completely matches her. I don’t know how I got so fucking lucky, but I am selfish and am not giving her up.

  “Fuck, baby. You’re beautiful,” I tell her before I kiss her hard on the mouth. The instant my mouth touches her, she forgets that she wanted to cover herself from me. I could see it in her eyes. I plan to show her how beautiful she is every day.

  I move my hand to her breast, and roll her nipple through my thumb and index finger. She starts rocking her hips into me. I can’t help but grind my rock-hard erection into her. I break the
kiss, and take her nipple in my mouth. Knowing that no one has ever done this to her before makes this so fucking hot. No one will get to see her like this- rocking those soft hips into me, whimpering and moaning for more of my touch. I don’t think she even knows that she’s making any sounds. It’s sexy as fuck, and enough to get me to blow my load like a horny teenager. That has never happened to me. No woman has got me hot enough to want to blow my load before I had barely even touched her.

  I bite her nipple, and then lick the sting away. She starts rocking into me harder. I know she’s searching for her release. I want to make her come so many times that she forgets her own name. This woman does things to me. I never cared enough for foreplay. I would do it until the girl was ready for me, but never in my life have I wanted to give a girl more without expecting anything in return.

  I take my hand off her breast, and bring it down to her pussy. Her panties are soaked. Fuck. I’m screwed. I’ve only gotten to touch her a couple times over the past few weeks, and only with my fingers. I already know before I slide my hand down her panties that she’s tight as fuck.

  I know my girl, and I know what she wants. Her body is already trying to reach for my fingers. I slide one finger into her and I groan out loud with how tight she is. When I pull my head back and I look down on her, she has her lips parted and eyes closed with soft moans that could bring me down to my knees.

  “Look at me, baby,” I whisper to her in a low tone. I know that my voice is deep and husky from how fucking turned on I am right now.

  She opens her eyes, and looks at me. I’m fucking loving seeing the lust and desire in her eyes. This moment is when the shyness is all gone, and she’s just Claire, just herself.

  I decide to take my chances and see if she wants more. “Can I taste you, baby?”