Passionately Yours (Vicious Snakes Book 5) Read online

  I just wanted to save these men who came for their own.

  He nods with a smile before he leaves.

  I blow out a breath with the sudden emotion flowing through me.

  I didn’t know that just the thought of being protected by this club would make me feel safe and have a sense of security that I have never known before.

  Having their protection right now means everything to me because I haven’t felt safe in a long time. I’m not sure that I will feel safe when I do go home tomorrow, but I need to try.

  I already feel as if everything is tainted with Brent’s touch and that I might spiral backward, which is something that I absolutely don’t want.

  Chapter Three

  Tyson “Torch”

  One week later…

  It has been one week since Camilla left to go back with her family. Really, I should be thrilled. That woman was doing all sorts of messed up things with my head and I couldn’t handle it anymore.

  I watched as she took a bullet for my father, while she bled on our laps in the back of the SUV we went to the hospital in, and also when she came out of surgery and into recovery.

  She opened her eyes and I felt like she could fucking see right through me. I stood there in that room still as a fucking statue when her eyes found mine. She didn’t look away until my dad and mom were right beside her bed with my mom gently hugging her and thanking her for saving my father.

  I was fucking thankful. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost my old man too.

  When I sat down in the chair beside her bed, I didn’t think anything of it. I grabbed her hand in a gentle squeeze so that she would know without words that I was glad she was okay.

  What she did surprised me. She held onto my fucking hand in the tightest grip she could manage, which wasn’t a lot, but I knew what she was trying to do.

  I decided to wait until she fell asleep so that I could slip my hand out and leave to drown myself in alcohol.

  That didn’t work out as planned at all.

  As soon as I slipped my hand out of hers and was walking toward the door, she starting screaming.

  There were times when she would cry in her sleep. That was the fucking worst. I don’t know everything this woman has been through, but I had seen the scars and all the fresh marks on her body.

  I didn’t know how someone could do that to such an innocent woman. Sure, I like to fuck people up with my torch, but those are assholes who deserve it. I would never touch someone in such a harmful and cruel way if they didn’t deserve it.

  This woman had been through more than I could wrap my head around. When I got my hands on Cutter last week, I fucking smiled at him. I pictured every scar that ran along Camilla’s body as I brought my torch to his. He fucking screamed like the little bitch he is and I can’t say that I’m sorry for it.

  Not only was what he did to Camilla unacceptable, but he had also kidnapped my sister and betrayed the club. He had also put Krista in harm’s way and, though I’m not as close to her as I am with the other women in the club, I sure as fuck have her back.

  I could tell that Camilla was strong. She had the fight in her whenever I looked into her eyes. What she went through didn’t break her, but I could tell that it almost did.

  She had admitted to me that when she jumped in front of the bullet and was shot, she didn’t think she was going to make it. She had told me that she was tired of living in pain and the last few months were nothing but pain, screams, and tears. She was ready to give up. She said that the only reason she was holding on was because the women had started to be brought in.

  She fucking wanted to be able to protect them. She felt as though if she had given up that they would have moved onto someone else for a ‘toy,’ and she didn’t want anyone one to suffer through what she had.

  Fucking heart of gold.

  That’s what has been going through my head since she walked out of the club and back home.

  I know that she made it home and is with her family but, fuck, by spending most of my days with her, I haven’t spent much time thinking about anything else. Every time I took a break helping Camilla, my mind would wander back to thoughts of Stacey.

  I feel guilty as fuck for thinking of Camilla even if it’s just thoughts regarding her wellbeing and nothing more. I think about how she’s doing and if she’s having nightmares without me around.

  My phone buzzes while I’m lost in my thoughts.

  Camilla: Thank you for everything, Torch. I just needed to let you know that I’m grateful that you stayed in the hospital with me so that I could sleep and not dream about them. I know that you didn’t want to be there, but I’m glad that you were.

  Me: No thanks necessary. You saved my dad. I owe you a hell of a lot more than just sitting beside you so that you can sleep.

  Camilla: You don’t owe me anything. I would do it all over again.

  Me: That’s why I owe you. Because you wouldn’t think twice about doing it again.

  Me: Are you sleeping now that you are home?

  Camilla: …

  Me: Camilla, don’t lie to me.

  Camilla: Well not really. I have been laying in my bed and my brother sleeps on the couch in my room because I kept screaming and he hated that he couldn’t be there for me when I was in the hospital. Unfortunately, he doesn’t take the dreams away, but it’s still good to know that he’s there.

  Me: What do you need me to do?

  Camilla: Nothing, this helps.

  Me: Fuck. If it gets to be too much, you tell me. You hear?

  Camilla: …

  Me: Camilla, no lies.

  Camilla: No lies. I will tell you, Torch.

  My hands shake as I type out my next text. I’m glad she reached out so that now I won’t hesitate to contact her. I won’t feel like I’m overwhelming her by checking up on her.

  Me: Call me Tyson.

  Camilla: Okay. Talk to you soon, Tyson.

  I blow out a breath and my whole body is shaking.

  There is only one other woman that I have ever told me to call me Tyson. I tell myself that I just don’t like her calling me Torch because she’s not part of the club life.

  Maybe if I repeat it to myself enough times, I will start to believe it.

  I can only hope so because, if not, this guilt will eat away at me.

  Camilla

  When I pulled up to my house last week, my brother was standing outside. The vehicle pulled up and he pulled open the door before I could have a chance to.

  My parents were right behind him and I was yanked out of the vehicle and into my family’s arms.

  I breathed in the scent of all of them. I didn’t think that I would ever be in their presence again.

  My dad smells like tobacco and firewood. He always smells like that even though I don’t remember the last time he actually had a fire. My mother has her usual smell of vanilla. I know it’s from all the baking she does, but it’s like she splashes it all over herself. I realize that my brother hasn’t ever gotten over bathing himself in cheap cologne. I used to hate it and I made fun of him all of the time, and he always laughed it off. I never thought that I would miss these smells but, as I breathe them in, the scents trigger feelings of happiness and protection.

  A throat clears, and I suddenly remember that Derek and Lily came with me. They wanted to make sure that I was home safe. I know that it’s because they are now protective of me.

  My dad’s eyes widen slightly at seeing Derek.

  I’m not going to lie, Derek is a big man. He’s got muscles that’s for sure, and the whole silver fox thing going on. You can tell that he’s been through some shit and wouldn’t hesitate to protect his family.

  “You must be Camilla’s family. Name’s Derek, and this is my woman, Lily,” he says lifting his chin to them in greeting.

  My dad nods his head “Yes, I’m her father, Anthony, and this is her mother, Crystal, and that’s her brother, Xavier. Are you the ones who found my Camilla
?” he asks.

  “Yes we did,” Derek says with a nod, but doesn’t say any more than that.

  I already know what I shouldn’t say to my family. I don’t want to let them in on most of what I have been through. I know that they would already be feeling helpless. They didn’t have much to help them try and find me even though I know that they did everything they could. My family would have never given up on me.

  “Thank you,” my mother says holding back a sob.

  I look at my family seeing all of them with tears down their faces. I know that my disappearance had destroyed them.

  Then I turn my head back to Derek and Lily who both smile softly at me.

  I give them both a tight hug. “Thank you so much,” I whisper to them.

  “Don’t worry about it, kid. You call if you need anything, you hear?” he says, and I nod my head.

  I smile when I think about that day.

  The day I came home.

  I was never happier than that day because I finally got to see my family again.

  The last week has been a challenge. I didn’t leave my home. My brother had chosen to stay in his old room in our parents’ house. My room was right beside his, but when I started screaming, he would come running.

  I told him about the nightmares and how they happen all the time, and he suggested that he sleeps in my room. He has been sleeping on the little couch in my room. It’s not very big, but he doesn’t want to leave me alone even though he’s probably uncomfortable. I still don’t get much sleep, but it could partially be due to the fact that my brother snores. Some nights, I find myself lying awake because of how loud he is; but, as annoying as it is, it’s also comforting because I know that I’m not in that place anymore.

  I just wasn’t ready to be alone and my family understood that, but I couldn’t help but wonder why Torch was the one to chase away the nightmares.

  I had taken the chance to send him a text and I was relieved to hear back from him.

  I wondered how he was doing. Was he still working on the pain in his eyes?

  Those eyes haunted me in the day time. It was all I could think about when I was alone.

  I decided to send messages to other people. I wasn’t going back to work and my family wasn’t going to let me out of their sights any time soon. I might as well see if I can make friends because the women from the Vicious Snakes seemed like they were being genuine when they said that I could message them any time, and that I had friends in them.

  Me: Hey, it’s Camilla. Just wanted to see how it’s going with the baby?

  Ella: Hey Cami! It’s so good to hear from you! It’s going great. My kids have barely let me out of their sight because of how long they went without seeing me. I love it though, and it’s not something that I will take for granted again.

  Me: That’s good. I’m glad that you all are enjoying your time together.

  Ella: Thank you. How is it being home?

  Me: It’s great. I missed my family, but I’m getting kind of bored. My mother suggested that I should talk to someone. They hear my nightmares at night and it scares them.

  Ella: I think that might be best. I can’t pretend to understand that I know what you are going through, but I can tell you that I am here for you. It might help you work through everything, or at the very least, get it all out.

  Me: I think so. I have a number that I can call, so I might just do that. It’s not like I can never sleep, but I would love one full night of peace.

  Ella: I know, it will come. Don’t rush your recovery. Remember, I’m here for you. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.

  Me: Well I do have question.

  Ella: Shoot…

  Me: Well, what happened to Torch? I know that might be personal and you don’t have to answer, but he just looks so broken and withdrawn.

  She takes a few minutes to respond and I wonder if I went too far with asking. I am about to apologize and tell her that she doesn’t have to answer, but my phones dings before I can.

  Ella: Well shit, sorry. It’s just hard for me to talk about.

  Me: It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Never mind me, I’m just being nosy. Boredom does that to me.

  Ella: No, no it’s okay. It’s not a big secret and if you ever hang around with us again, it will be good for you to know.

  Me: Only if you want to. I didn’t want to bring up bad memories.

  Ella: They are just hard. It’s only been eight months. My best friend Stacey was Tyson’s old lady. They were together for over a year before she was killed. It’s been a tough time with the club, but Tyson hasn’t been the same since.

  Me: Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’m terrible at comfort.

  Ella: It’s okay. It’s a day by day thing. Sometimes I find myself wanting to call her or text her when the boys do something funny or cute, but then I remember all over again that she’s gone.

  Me: Well you can talk to me. If you want to talk about you kids, man, or about Stacey. I’ll listen.

  Ella: Thank you. I just might take you up on that.

  Me: No problem. I will talk to you soon, okay?

  Ella: Talk soon.

  I release a breath that I didn’t know I was holding.

  I can’t believe that they are going through something like that. No wonder Tyson looks pained and broken. I would be too.

  I think about everything the club had been through. I don’t know how long I stay lost in my thoughts, but I don’t hear my mother come into the room.

  “Sweetie?” she says softly and I jump.

  “Sorry, mom did you need something?” I ask.

  “Oh, just dinner is about ready. Did you get a chance to call the doctor today?” she asks, and I shake my head.

  “No. I was just about to,” I say with a soft smile at her.

  After talking to Ella and realizing how much pain that the Vicious Snakes have been through, I decide that I need to do what I can. They can’t be worried about me. I need to give them one less thing to worry about.

  I need to work on me.

  Then I can work on the pain in Tyson’s eyes.

  I dial the phone number when my mom leaves the room.

  Chapter Four

  Camilla

  It has only been a few days since I called the therapist who specializes in trauma from sexual assault and abuse.

  I went to my first appointment the next day. I was lucky that they had a cancellation and were able to fit me in.

  I had just left my second session with the therapist. She had felt that I should come to a few appointments a week until we started to see progress. Being that I wasn’t going back to work, I had agreed. It also helped to talk about what had happened to someone that didn’t know me.

  On the first day, when I explained to my therapist what had happened when I was first brought to that party, I broke down and cried. I hadn’t seen any judgement or pity in her eyes while I talked with her helping me to develop trust with her.

  I told my dad that I wanted to take some self-defence classes. It would help me to feel like I could protect myself if anything else were to happen. I didn’t want to rely on anyone. So he signed me up for one on one classes with his friend who is a trainer at the gym he owns.

  I’m very grateful for that because I’m not ready to be around a bunch of people.

  At least the instructor is my dad’s friend, so I won’t have to feel scared about being alone with someone I don’t know. Not that it matters anyways because my dad and brother Xavier stayed with me the whole time during the lesson.

  My mind drifts back to Torch quite often. I don’t know what it is about those haunted eyes that makes it hard to think about anything else. I honestly would rather my mind wander to him than anything else.

  I walk to the car my brother is driving. He smiles at me as I enter the car.

  “Hey Cami. Feeling up to some lunch?” he says with a soft smile.

  This is one of the reasons that I love
my brother. He knows when to push or when to leave me alone to my thoughts.

  I haven’t been out too much since I have been home. I’ve been too scared to leave the house. I know that they got everyone, and I can trust when Derek tells me not to worry, but I still don’t feel safe. I had felt a lot safer when I was with the Vicious Snakes under their close protection.

  I’m not sure what it is about them. Was it because they saved me? But then, two other clubs were there too, so would I feel safe if I was with them? The thing is that I don’t think so. Something about being cradled between Derek and Torch specifically made me feel protected and safe. Father and son, they made me feel like they would do anything for me. I had felt that they would hurt anyone who would hurt me.

  Also, are they only protective of me because I saved the president of the Vicious Snakes? How does that make me feel if that’s the case?

  I shake my head from those thoughts as we pull up to a pub that has the best burgers and wings. I still can’t eat a whole lot since I was given minimal food when I was held captive, but I make sure to ask for a to-go container for my food when I order.

  “Well, what did you want to do today?” Xavier says.

  I shrug. “I’m sure you have work to get back to. You can just drop me off at home.”

  He shakes his head. “No way. I’m not going back to work until I know you are better. Trust me, the boss understands,” he says with a wink.

  I chuckle a little bit because his boss is his best friend. He works for a security company, and I know that he was trying his hardest to find me. I could see the guilt in his eyes when the talk of my capture came up.

  “Well, I’m sure you will get bored hanging out with a sister who doesn’t want to leave the house,” I say.

  He nods. “Well that may be true, but we can always find something to do, or I can help you work on your self-defence. I know that you are going to want to keep that up. I saw the determination in your eyes. I’m with you every step of the way, sis.”