Passionately Yours (Vicious Snakes Book 5) Read online

It had taken me a few days to open the letter since I was afraid that he was going to say more hurtful things, but curiosity had gotten the better of me.

  I instantly broke down in tears reading it.

  I knew that he was carrying a lot of pain, but I never understood how much.

  I could tell that he took the time to decide what he was going to say.

  I do what I always do when I get home from the therapist. I write down my feelings in a journal I had kept. Sometimes that gives me inspiration for book ideas.

  Writing has been really good for me as I can feel my strength returning. I’m not as scared anymore and it has been easier to hang out with my friends. I still don’t talk much to the people who were in my life before, but I do talk to the women at the club.

  I hadn’t asked them anything about Tyson and have had to hold myself back time and time again from doing so.

  The letter sits on my pillow since I read it every day. I haven’t told anyone that I kept it or read it, but the women know that he had written me a letter when he left.

  I let out a sigh as I reach the letter.

  Camilla,

  I’m sorry for everything I said. I heard the next day what nasty things I had said to you and they were hurtful.

  Let’s just be straight.

  I am an ass.

  There’s nothing else to it.

  I let my grief and drinking get the best of me. I turned into this man I don’t know and can’t recognize anymore. This isn’t me. I wish you could see the real me, but even that thought alone is painful.

  I wasn’t sure if I believed in love, but then Stacey came along and I knew she was mine from the start. Losing her was like losing a piece of myself and I don’t know how to function without it.

  I’m going to get some help. I’ve done so much damage to everyone around me that it’s not okay anymore.

  I kept waiting to move on or change, but I realize now that I’ve got to be the one to do something about it.

  I have to get better for me.

  I dreamt about Stacey last night. It was the first time I had went to bed sober in a long time.

  She would want me to live my life and be happy, and that’s not what I’m doing.

  I hope in time I can get you to forgive me.

  When I come home, I’m going to make it up to you.

  You mean more to me than what I lead you to believe.

  I’ll be seeing you,

  Tyson

  I can feel the tears well in my eyes as I read the letter again. I forgave him a long time ago. That doesn’t mean I will forget everything he said, but I understood that he needed to work on himself.

  I too had to work on myself before I could even think about others, and I think that not having him around was good for me.

  There’s a knock at my door and I yell for whomever it is to come in.

  My mom comes in with a smile and hands me a box. “This came for you earlier,” she says softly and turns around to leave the room.

  My mind immediately goes to Tyson because he should have been coming home today.

  What are the chances that he would send me something the exact day that he got home?

  I shake my head and decide to open it. There isn’t any way I will find out who sent it until I open it.

  Opening the box, I find a card on the top.

  Camilla,

  I’ve been missing you.

  I hope you missed me too.

  ‘Til we meet again.

  Yours.

  Well that’s odd. A little presumptuous of Tyson. He’s honestly the only person I would miss right now.

  I put the card beside me on the bed and look inside the box.

  There is a knife in the box. Odd. Picking it up, I find that it’s engraved. I read the inscription. “For your screams.”

  I can’t help but let out a scream as I drop the knife.

  No, no, no. It can’t be.

  I can feel my breath coming hard and fast.

  There is only one person who ever said something about my screams.

  They are all gone, aren’t they?

  With shaking hands, I grab my phone and dial the one man who would know.

  It only rings once before he picks up.

  “Camilla? What’s going on, girl? I’m just waiting for Torch to get out of the center,” Derek says.

  My breath comes in pants and I can feel my heart beating faster.

  “You told me all of the Devil’s Souls were gone,” I say with accusation in my voice.

  He’s silent for a second before his deadly calm voice comes on the line.

  “They are all gone. I’m not a liar,” he says.

  I feel my lips tremble.

  “T-then h-how c-come I had a really creepy package waiting for me when I got home today?” I say.

  “Explain.”

  “My mom just brought in this box. There was a card that said they miss me and hope I miss them, and inside the box was a knife that said ‘For your screams.’ There is only one person who said that to me, and how would that be possible, if they were all gone?” I try my hardest to keep back the sobs trying to break free.

  “Fuck. Who used to say that to you?” he asks in a cool tone.

  “Reaper.”

  Tyson “Torch”

  It has been a long three months.

  I’m glad that I get to go home today, though I know it’s going to be hard. I was able to talk to someone about everything that was going on in my head and how I was turning self-destructive, and then I was also able to get through the withdrawals. I honestly didn’t think I would have them because it had only been year since Stacey died, but I was wrong. It was bad. I was glad that my family didn’t have to see that. It wasn’t pretty and not a memory I wanted them to have.

  I made sure to get the info for meetings for when I got home.

  I talked and wrote letters to my mom and sister a lot. It was nice to be able to communicate with them in that way.

  I felt like it brought me a lot closer to Ella. I confided in her about how I felt about everything and, in turn, she explained how hard it was for her to lose Jeff in a tragic way. She said that the only thing that kept her going were the baby and Stacey. Until the club came along that is.

  She had felt hopeless and lost and didn’t know how to live a life without him. She had explained that it just got easier to breathe with time. What helped her was remembering the good times, appreciating the friends and family she had along the way, and reminding herself that it was okay to smile.

  Just because she was happy didn’t mean that she forgot him.

  In between those letters came the ones that read like lectures. Ella would write how Stacey wouldn’t want me to be like I had been prior to me entering treatment.

  I read those letters over and over again.

  I shake my head from the thoughts as I’m finishing the process of checking out. I know that my dad will be waiting in the car, but my mom is in the front entrance with a big smile on her face. You would think that it had been years since she had seen me and not months.

  I smile as I wrap my arms around her and spin her around.

  Fuck, I don’t remember the last time I was so happy to see my mom.

  “I’m so happy to see you,” she says with a sniffle.

  “Me too, mom,” I tell her honestly.

  I walk with my arm around her and spot my dad pacing back and forth in front of the car. He looks like he’s having a heated conversation with someone.

  “Fuck. Who used to say that to you?” I hear him practically growl out.

  Whoever he’s talking to says something and he goes pale.

  “Pack a bag. We will be there in an hour. Is your brother home? Good, put him on. I need you to keep your sister in your sight until I get there. She’s coming to the club. Pack a bag if you want to come with her. We will be there in an hour.” He hangs up the phone with a curse.

  When he turns, he notices my mom and I standing there
looking to him for an explanation.

  “Honey? What’s going on?” my mom asks.

  My dad looks at her and me, and I can tell that he’s trying to hold in his anger.

  “Camilla got a package today. Seems we had missed one,” he says with a growl.

  I immediately stiffen.

  “Who?” I ask.

  He looks me right in the eye. “Reaper.”

  Reaper? Fuck no. That asshole is supposed to be dead along with the rest of the Devil’s Souls.

  “Fuck, are you sure?” I say angrily.

  “Let’s go. I’m sorry you had to come home to this,” my dad says quickly giving me a hug.

  “This is what we are about. Camilla became one of our own when she jumped in front of that bullet for you. If there is the slightest chance that there is a Devil’s Soul out there then we need to take care of it,” I say, and he nods his head approvingly.

  “There’s my son,” he says and I notice the pride in his eyes.

  “I’m not fully back yet, but I’m getting there,” I tell him as we climb into the car.

  I feel like it takes forever before we pull up to Camilla’s house.

  Walking up to the house, I feel something that I hadn’t for a long time and that’s nerves.

  Fuck. The last time I saw this woman I was a complete asshole. I don’t have a choice of seeing her right now. I thought I would have more time to prepare.

  Fuck, when did my palms get sweaty?

  And why is my heart beating so fast?

  The door opens almost as soon as my dad rings the bell.

  “Thank fuck you’re here,” Xavier says as he opens the door.

  “She’s been in panic mode since you hung up,” he says, and we walk into the living room.

  I don’t think about my actions, but I see Camilla sitting on the couch with her knees up to her chest and her head buried in her hands shaking her head back and forth. I hear how fast her breathing is and instinct takes over.

  I sit beside her and pull her into my lap. She breathes me in for a second before she lets out a sob. She clings to me like if she lets go, I’m going to disappear.

  Fuck, that’s a feeling I didn’t know that I needed.

  I hadn’t felt it since she was at the club after finding the club princesses and her locked and chained in a room.

  “T-tyson?” she says in a relieved voice.

  “I’m here, Camilla. I’m not going anywhere. You are safe,” I say. She must hear the truth in my words because she nods her head and I feel the tension leave her body.

  It takes a few minutes for her to calm down. When she finally does, she just sits up on my lap and doesn’t make an attempt to get up.

  I don’t say anything. The blush coating her cheeks lets me know that she’s aware of it but still needs my comfort in some way.

  “My mom is packing my stuff since I sort of lost it after I called,” she admits.

  My dad nods. “That’s alright. Is anyone else coming? It might be best,” he asks.

  Camilla nods her head, but it’s her brother that speaks.

  “Yeah, we are all coming. She may be getting better every day, but we are in no way ready to let her go yet,” he says.

  “Good, good I will get rooms prepared for you,” my dad says before he grabs his phone from his pocket and starts barking orders.

  “Alright, and I will let the girls know of the change of plans while you guys pack your stuff,” my mom says sweetly but also in a commanding tone. Fuck, I don’t know how she does that, but this is how she has always been. She’s perfected it over the years.

  They both leave to grab their bags or pack, and my mom heads into another room to call and make the room arrangements.

  “Welcome back,” Camilla says shyly and I can’t help but chuckle.

  “Thanks. This isn’t how I pictured the day going, but I’m glad to see you,” I tell her honestly.

  She sucks in a surprised breath.

  “Wow… I don’t know what to say to that,” she says.

  “It’s alright. We have a lot to work through, but I’m hoping we can get to know each other as friends,” I say hoping that my face doesn’t show the nerves I’m feeling.

  She lets a little smirk slip and then catches herself, but I saw it.

  “Friends,” she replies.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Camilla

  When I walk into the clubhouse, I feel so relieved to be here; like I’m finally coming home. This place is important to me and these people have become family.

  The women greet my family in with smiles and act like nothing is going on and we are just here for the welcome home BBQ for Tyson.

  I can see the anger in every man’s eyes though. If one had got away, I wonder what they have to be feeling. I don’t remember seeing Reaper that night though. I’ve tried to think back on it when we were headed here, but I couldn’t remember seeing him the night before. Once Katy was gone, so was he.

  They show me to a room that seems to be across from Tyson’s room and his dad’s room. “We have a couple spare rooms here that the kids usually stay in, so one has two beds and one has a queen,” Derek says and I can’t help but laugh.

  I look at my brother as we walk over to the small twin beds. “Well, looks like we are sharing a room again,” I say laughing. He just shakes his head and chuckles.

  “That’s alright. I kind of got used to your snoring. When you didn’t need me to sleep on the couch anymore, I had to sneak in to record your snoring so that I could sleep,” Xavier says.

  My mouth drops open in shock. “I do not snore.”

  He laughs while nodding his head. “Yeah you do.”

  I hear a few snickers and I turn around to see Tyson, my parents, Derek and Lily all trying to hold back laughter.

  “Do I snore?” I ask in disbelief.

  “Yeah, you kind of do,” Tyson says laughing.

  I shake my head but am grinning. I knew that I snored, but where was the fun in admitting that? I had woken myself up many times because of my snoring, so it’s not a surprise to me.

  “I don’t know if I believe you guys,” I say pretending to be suspicious and narrowing my eyes at them.

  “I’ll prove it,” Xavier says pulling out his phone.

  My mouth drops open when he plays a video of me sleeping and snoring really loudly. The screen shows the time and my brother’s face. “This is in case I ever needed to prove to you that you snore,” he says.

  Then the movie clip ends. There is silence in the air for a moment before everyone bursts out laughing.

  I can’t help but laugh with everyone because he honestly recorded me for that reason. It looks to have been recorded recently too.

  I shake my head at my brother. “I want to say that I can’t believe you did that, but I’m honestly not surprised at all.”

  I look at everyone as the laughter dies down. You wouldn’t know that I was here for protection. Everyone seems so happy, but maybe they are used to this sort of thing.

  “Well, let’s go. The women are probably dying to see you, Camilla,” Lily says and gestures to me to follow her.

  I walk into the room. Everyone smiles and the women give me hugs. When Tyson walks into the room, there are cheers so loud that I have to cover my ears. I guess they waited until they were done showing us to our rooms before focusing on Tyson’s celebration.

  Tyson gets hugs and pats on the back from everyone. He smiles so bright. Naturally, I can’t help but be mesmerized by it.

  “Thank fuck you are home, brother,” I hear Steal say to Tyson before he hugs him. I can’t see Tyson’s face, but I can see Steal’s. His eyes mist a little but nothing falls. He smiles like he’s honestly happy to see him. I wonder if this is the longest that they had ever been apart their whole lives.

  “I’m not a hundred percent, but I’m getting there. One day at a time,” he says.

  I’m not sure if I was supposed to hear or not, but I am too close to them not to h
ear what they are saying to each other.

  “We’ve got your back. No matter what. We are family. Brothers for life,” Steal says, and I want to cry at the sweet moment between them.

  Before anything else is said, Olivia comes and pats Steal on the back. “Okay, Swoon King, you have said enough.”

  Tyson and Steal both burst out in laughter at her statement.

  At my confusion, they explain to me the name that Steal had called himself when he was winning over Olivia. I can’t help but laugh.